Imibanire Ubuzima

Ese birashoboka gukundana n’umugabo/umugore ntihazazemo gukora imibonano?

Ushobora kuba uri umwe mu bibaza niba umugabo n’undi mugore utari uwe cyangwa se badateganya no kubana bashobora kugirana ubushuti bukomeye nyamara ntihazazemo gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ushobora nanone kuba wibaza niba ushobora gukorana n’umuntu imibonano mpuzabitsina nyamara idafite ikindi kiyiri inyuma, nta nyungu utezemo cyangwa se nta mubano wundi uzazamo.

 

Ibi byose ni ibintu bibaho ariko dukomeza kwibaza impamvu yabyo.

 

 

“Hagati y’umugabo n’undi mugore, ubushuti busanzwe ntibushoboka. Habaho urukundo, irari, gutwarwa, gucyeza. Ariko ubushuti busanzwe ntibushoboka”. Ibi byavuzwe na Oscar Wilde

 

“Biragoye ko umugabo yagirana ubushuti busanzwe n’umugore we abona ko ari mwiza kuko bitinde bitebuke hazagera aho yifuza kuryamana na we” Ibi byavuzwe na Harry, gusa ni muri filimi yitwa When Harry met Sally

 

Ugendeye kuri ibi wabona ko hagati y’umugabo n’umugore iteka umubano wabo birangira ubaganishije ku mibonano. None se umugabo ntakagire inshuti z’abagore? Umugore se ntakagire inshuti z’abagabo?

 

 

Abashakashatsi babiri Jocelyn Wentland na Elke Reissing, mu bushakashatsi bakoze mu 2011 bagabanyije umubano usanzwe hagati y’umugabo n’umugore mu bice bine by’ingenzi ariko byose bihuriza ku mibonano.

 

 

  1. Hari igice kibanza aho usanga mu mubano wabo, kwa kuganira kenshi, kwisanzuranaho bigera aho, niyo byaba rimwe gusa ariko bikabaho ko bakorana imibonano. Ibi akenshi ntibikuraho cyangwa ngo bihindure uko babanye hagati yabo cyangwa babanye n’abo bashakanye/bakundana. Bibaho kenshi binabatunguye, ariko bikabaho. Kuri bo umubano wabo ntuba ushingiye ku mibonano ariko niyo bibaye ngombwa ko bayikora, baba bumva ari nka serivise hagati yabo, nta kindi
  2. Ikindi gice ni igihe usanga bakunze kuganira cyane kandi kenshi ibiganisha mu mibonano. Aho usanga bizerana bakabwirana amabanga, bakaba banajya inama. Ariko iyo bari kumwe bashobora gukora imibonano, gusa bo bikundira ahanini kubiganiraho, kubwirana uko bamerewe, position bakunda se, ibyitwa sexting mu ndimi z’amahanga. Usanga nta kindi kiganiro kibahuza, iyo umwe abonye undi kenshi ku mbuga nkoranyambaga nta kindi kiganiro bagirana ni ibyo gusa. Iyo bakomeje rero bakajya banakorana imibonano kenshi bava muri iki gice bakajya ku kindi
  3. Igice kindi kirimo noneho ababa baramaze kumenyerana kubera gukunda kubiganiraho kenshi, bakagera ubwo babikora. Bitangira kenshi ari ugushaka gushira amatsiko bikarangira basigaye ari byo biberamo. Iyo ari abubatse ntibibabuza gukomeza gahunda mu ngo zabo, naho iyo ari abasore/inkumi na bo usanga bitababuza gukomeza urukundo n’abo bakundana. Abo bakorana imibonano nyine ni icyo kiba kibahuza gusa
  4. Igice cya nyuma kirimo abahuzwa n’inyungu. Kenshi ni ho haza ibyahawe utubyiniriro nko gukura ibyinyo, gupfubura se, n’izindi nyito zinyuranye. Usanga iyo umwe muri bo akeneye undi aba azi ko hari igiciro runaka agomba kumuha, kandi ntibabifate nko kugura/kugurisha mbese ni kwakundi usanga akenshi wumva ko akazi kose gakwiye igihembo (toute peine merite salaire).

 

Muri make, usanga umubano hagati y’umugabo n’umugore, bitinde cyangwa bitebuke ugera aho ukagwa muri kimwe mu bice bine tubonye. Ibi ntibivuze ko bidashoboka gukundana ngo ntihazazemo imibonano, birashoboka ndetse cyane. Ariko niba ibiganiro mugirana bijya bizamo ibyerekeye imibonano, amaherezo muzisanga muri kimwe mu byiciro bine tuvuze haruguru.

Suzuma wowe abo mukundana niba mutisanga muri kimwe mu bice bine bivuzwe

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