Imibanire Imyororokere Ubuzima

Itandukaniro hagati y’abagabo n’abagore ku byerekeye imibonano

Ibi ni ibintu abantu bose kuva na kera bibaza. Abagabo usanga bavuga ko abagore ari bo baryoherwa cyangwa bishimira imibonano kurenza bo, dore ko batanga urugero ku rutoki n’ugutwi iyo wikurugutura nyamara aha baba birengagije ko urutoki rutariho uturandaryi tw’ibyiyumvo nk’utuboneka ku gitsina.

 

Gusa si imyumvire y’ubu kuko kuva na kera abantu bahoze bavuga ko abagabo n’abagore batandukanye cyane ku byerekeye imibonano mpuzabitsina.

 

Ese ni byo koko? Iyi nkuru igiye kubisobanura

 

Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe na William Masters afatanyije na Virginia Johnson mu myaka hagati ya 1960 na 1970 bwkozwe bashaka kugaragaza ko ari abagabo n’abagore bamererwa kimwe ku byerekeye imibonano. Abakoreweho ubushakashatsi bareberwaga mu bice bine ari byo gushyukwa, gukora imibonano, kurangiza n’igihe bitwara ngo umuntu yongere kubishaka.

 

Gusa nubwo ababukoze bashakaga kwerekana ko abagabo n’abagore ari kimwe, byarangiye basanze harimo itandukaniro rinini.

Ugereranyije n’abagore, abagabo ni bo bikinisha kenshi, ni bo bareba filimi z’imibonano cyane, bakururwa cyane n’ibyo babona ku mugore (imiterere) kandi gushaka imibonano kuri bo ntibitinda cyane

 

Ku rundi ruhande ariko, abagore bo bakururwa n’imyitwarire y’umugabo, cyane cyane iyo bamubonaho umwihariko bagereranyije n’abandi aho ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko umugore aba ashaka umugabo umwereka ko amukeneye cyane ariko hakiyongeraho kuba uwo mugabo afite ubupfura, ubwitonzi, ubuhanga, azi kuganira kandi ari umuntu uboneka ko yashobora kumushimisha mu buriri, naho abagabo bo bapfa kubona imiterere, gushyukwa ntibitinda nubwo wenda batakora imibonano ariko umubiri uba wabatamaje

 

Ubundi bushakashatsi bwakozwe muri 2000 bukozwe na Roy Baumeister bwerekanye na bwo ko abagabo n’abagore batandukanye. Yerekanye ko abagabo gushaka imibonano kwabo bigendana n’uko umugore ateye kurenza ibindi byose umugore yaba afite. Ubuhanga bw’umugore, ubukire se, uwo ari we, akazi akora, nta kintu kinini bivuga ku mugabo iyo ari kwifuza imibonano.

Na we yerekanye ko abagore bo barebera cyane ku muco, imyitwarire, amashuri cyangwa akazi, imyizerere, aho ukomoka…

 

Ubushakashatsi kandi bwerekanye ko abagabo kuri bo hadakunze kuzamo kuvanga, ngo abe afite umugore anabe umutinganyi, kuko n’iyo abigerageje nyuma biranga, mu gihe ku bagore byoroha kuba yaba umutinganyi akanagira umugabo kandi bose bakabana neza.

 

Ubushakashatsi bwa vuba bwaje na bwo bushimangira ibi. Meredith Chivers, Michael Seto, na Ray Blanchard basuzumye uko ibitsina by’abagabo n’abagore byitwara bitewe n’ishusho babonye.

Hakoreshejwe amafoto y’abantu bambaye ubusa, abagabo ni bo bashyukwaga iyo babaga babonye amafoto y’abagore batambaye naho abagore bashyukwaga gusa iyo berekwaga igitsina gusa n’amabya cyangwa bakerekwa abari gukora imibonano ariko haterekanwa abantu bose ahubwo hagaragazwa ibice biri mu kazi gusa. Ku bagabo no kubona ikibero gusa byatumaga bahinduka mu gihe abagore (nabwo si bose) bashyukwaga byoroheje babonye ifoto y’igitsina cyafashe umurego nabwo kandi gitubutse, cyangwa se bakerekwa abari mu mibonano

Ubwo bushakashatsi kandi bwerekanye ko mu gihe abagabo benshi kongera gushyukwa nyuma yo kurangiza bibasaba iminota kuva kuri 20 kuzamura, abagore bo niyo yaba arangije ako kanya ukongera kumutera ubushake buhita buza, dore ko mu gihe abagabo uko barangiza kenshi ari ko batinda, abagore bo uko barangiza kenshi ni ko biza vuba, aho ashobora kurangiza inshuro nyinshi mu gihe umugabo arangije rimwe.

Abagabo mu gihe bakunda kubiganira hagati yabo, abagore bo bakunda kubiganira n’abagabo, hagati yabo ngo bakunze kubigira ibanga keretse iyo ari inama ari kugisha nabwo ngo akenshi babyitirira undi muntu ntibakunze kubyiyerekezaho. Kandi kuri bo umugabo bizera ko ari we wababikira ibanga kurenza umugore mugenzi wabo

 

Ngayo nguko. Ese wowe bimeze bite?

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