Imibanire Ubuzima

Burya habaho amoko ane y’abagabo

Mu mibanire hagati y’abashakanye, uko abagabo bitwara ku bagore babo (ubwo ku batarashaka ni uko bitwara ku nshuti zabo), usanga binyuranye, aho bishobora kugera abagore babo bamwe bakaba ba nyirandarwemeye, utabashije gushikama akabivamo (ntitwamuveba kuko burya ntitunganya kwihangana no guhangana), abandi ugasanga bavuga ko bibereye muri paradizo.

 

Iyo ugerageje kubishyira hamwe usanga hariho ubwoko bune bw’abagabo, gusa bumwe muri bwo nibwo bwiza ubundi butatu si bwiza. Nibyo tugiye kurebera hamwe hano.

 

  1. UMUHUNGU

 

Uyu nkuko izina rye ribivuga usanga yarakuze mu myaka no mu gihagararo ariko ibitekerezo bya kigabo utabimusangana. Ahubwo ahorana ibitekerezo nk’iby’umuhungu ukigimbuka. Usanga ibitekerezo bye byibera ku bimushimisha ndetse ntaba azi igisobanuro cyo kubaka kandi ntaba anashaka kwigira ku bandi. Usanga urugo rwe ruyobowe n’ibitekerezo by’umugore, kuko umugore niwe upanga imishinga akanayishyira mu bikorwa, umugabo ibye ari ukuba umufatanyabikorwa gusa, ashyira mu bikorwa atanagira icyo yunganira cyangwa ahindura. Usanga uyu mugabo yibereye mu buzima bwa gisore, imyambarire igezweho, kubaka umubiri, imyidagaduro n’ibindi bishishikaza urubyiruko. Usanga nta banga rye, kuko iyo mutarabana mukaryamana abibwira bagenzi be ndetse akanababwira niba uryoshye cyangwa ubishye, mwaba mubana ugasanga ntazi kubika ibanga ry’urugo n’ibibera mu cyumba arabivuga.

Uyu mugabo ntaba ashaka ko umugore we amuva iruhande ndetse usanga akunze kumugereranya na nyina, kuko aba yumva akiri umwana iwabo. Iyo umugore we agize ikibazo ntamenya uko yamuhumuriza, kuko nyine aracyari umwana. Usanga akenshi uyu mugabo mu gushaka akururwa n’ibyo umukobwa atunze cyangwa izina afite muri sosiyeti, muri macye ntakururwa n’urukundo akururwa n’ibintu. Kuri we ikimugira umugabo si ibikorwa ahubwo ni imyaka. Ikibazo cye ntimwajya inama kuko ahora yumva ari mu kuri, kandi ahora yumva ko ari umugabo, atavuguruzwa.

  1. UMUHEHESI

Nubwo bigoye ariko aho kubana n’umugabo w’umuhehesi wakigumira iwanyu. Uyu mugabo niyo wamugaragariza urukundo gute, nubundi birangira ari wowe ubibabariyemo kuko we, NTA RUKUNDO AGIRA. Umuhehesi agira akarimi karyoshye, aho buri mukobwa wese aterese bigoye kumwikura kuko aba akwereka ibyiza gusa ndetse ukaba wumva ko wageze muri paradizo y’urukundo. Uyu muhehesi si nka wawundi wowe utekereza uba afite umugore babana akagira n’undi ku ruhande, ahubwo uyu we arenze hano. Icyo byamusaba cyose ngo muryamane aragikora kandi iyo mumaze kuryamana birangirira aho, kuko icyo yashakaga aba yakibonye.

Umuhehesi aba yikunda kandi ntashobora kubaho afite inshuti imwe gusa. Icyo byamusaba cyose ngo akugereho aragikora niyo byamusaba gutanga umushahara we wose. Aba azi ibigezweho, azi kwambara neza no kwiyitaho, ndetse amagambo y’urukundo uba ugirango niwe wayaremye. Usanga byinshi umugore yifuza aba abyujuje, ariko akabura umutima uguma hamwe, ahorana agatima karehareha. Mu buriri aba azi akazi, mu mufuka aba atajegajega, aba yarize amashuri meza ashoboka, ndetse ashobora no kuba ari umusitari, nyamara ibi byose ntabikoreshe mu buryo nyabwo ahubwo akiteretera umuhisi n’umugenzi. Uyu iyo yubatse urugo usanga adatinya gutereta barumuna n’inshuti z’umugore, ndetse ashobora no gutereta umukozi umurerera abana cyangwa ubakorera isuku ku kazi, ya mvugo ngo BAPFUMWENGE wagirango niwe yahimbiwe.

Aba azi amagambo ushaka kumva, akakwereka icyo ushaka kubona gusa. Iyo mukimenyana usanga aguha umwanya uhagije, nyamara yamara gufatisha ahandi wa mwanya yaguhaga mukawugabana. Aba azi kwitaka no kwerekana ko umugore we cyangwa uwo bakundanaga ari mubi, yamunaniye, ahubwo we ari umwana mwiza, nyamara byahe byo kajya. Mubana kuko akubonaho inyungu ntimubana kuko agukunze.

Gusa iyo uhumutse umutahura vuba kuko byinshi mu byo avuga agenda yivuguruza akinyuramo, aho ashobora kugusubukuriraho ikiganiro yagiranye n’undi yibwira ko ari wowe mwari mwabivuganye.

Terefoni ye ntiwapfa gusangamo ibiganiro agirana n’igitsinagore, yewe n’umuhamagaye ahita abisiba, kuko nawe aba yicyeka. Abanza gusa n’ukwica mu bwonko ngo agere ku mutima wawe, nawo asiga awangije iyo uhumutse, ku buryo kuzizera undi mugabo bikugora. Icyakora abagore bikundira iraha n’ibintu nibo bashobokana n’aba bagabo kuko barabihanganira, kandi uyu mugabo kuko aba atagaguza henshi bimusaba gukora no kuba afite icyo yinjiza kigaragara bityo umugore ukunda ibintu we barabana.

  1. BYARANYOBEYE

Uyu we usanga urukundo rwaramubereye nk’ikigeragezo ndetse ahora mu bibazo bidashira n’amaganya. Uyu ntaba azi neza icyo ashaka. Tugereranyije urukundo n’umuryango, uba usanga yananiwe gusohoka akananirwa no kwinjira, agahera mu cyeragati. Gufata umwanzuro uyu munsi ntabibasha ahora agusaba amahirwe ya kabiri ati wenda ejo bizagenda neza. Kenshi uyu mugabo aba agukunda pe, ntakunze no kuba umuhehesi, kandi icyo ukeneye cyose ngo wishime arakiguha, ariko umutima we uba umeze nk’ufite icyawuboshye. Ahorana inzitwazo n’ubusobanuro, bitari uko atagukunda ahubwo kuko gufata umwanzuro bimugora. Mushobora kuba mwicaye muganira ariko muri we yibaza ati ariko ubundi uyu ni we, cyangwa nsubirane na wawundi wa mbere?

Nubwo gutsimbarara Atari byiza kuruta kutamenya, iyo uhisemo gutandukana nawe, aguha andi masezerano rimwe na rimwe adashoboka ariko akifuza ko mugumana kuko ntaba yifuza kugutakaza ariko gukora ibituma utagenda bikamunanira kuko nyine, ni BYARANYOBEYE. Ushobora guhitamo kugumana na we, nibyo ariko nkuko Akin Al-Ameen abivuga, “ikosa rya mbere rikomeye mu buzima ni ukugendana n’umuntu we atazi ndetse adafite aho agiye”

  1. UMUGABO MWIZA

Uyu mugabo niwe mpano nziza umugore mwiza wese akwiye guhabwa. Benshi bavuga ko umugabo nk’uyu atabaho, ariko burya hari amamiriyoni menshi yabo. Uyu aba ari umugabo ukuze mu bitekerezo, uzi agaciro k’urukundo, kandi aba yarasobanukiwe ko ari we ugomba gukunda umugore we nuko umugore akamwitura kumwubaha no kumugandukira. Aha twibutse ko umugabo ari we ufata iya mbere abwira umugore ko amukunda, nuko muri benshi wa mugore afite babimubwira, agashyira ku munzani agahitamo umwe yemerera ko akomeza kumukunda. Nubwo kenshi tubyita gukundana ariko mu by’ukuri si igikorwa gitangirira rimwe ni nayo mpamvu kidashobora kungana ku mpande zombi. Umugabo niwe ufata iya mbere agakunda umugore. Uyu mugabo mwiza, ashobora kuba yaranyuze muri biriya byiciro byose bikamusigira isomo, nuko akagera aho afata umwanzuro wo gukunda umugore umwe, ntabe binyobere ndetse agakura mu mutwe akamenya inshingano ze nk’umugabo. Uyu mugabo akunda umugore we, akunda urugo rwe, araruvunikira, niyo hagize ikimuca intege (kuko kuba umwere 100% bigoye) akivamo vuba vuba akibuka ko afite uwo yahaye amasezerano yo kubana akaramata atamuhemukira.

Uyu mugabo isezerano rye aba abizi ko ari umwenda, aharanira gushyira mu bikorwa icyo yemeye kuzagukorera, kandi mu biganiro mufatanya kujya inama zubaka ndetse yemera kugira ibyo areka cyangwa ahindura kubera urukundo akunda umugore we.

Yumva vuba ibyifuzo by’umugore we kandi amubera umufasha, umujyanama, umuhoza, inshuti, umuryango. Amagambo ye agendana n’ibikorwa kandi ntavuga ko agukunda ahubwo akwereka ko agukunda, nawe ukabibona pe.

Ahazaza hanyu ahatekerezaho kandi akwitaho uko bikwiye nuko bishoboka, kuko agukunda.

 

DUSOZA

 

Ushobora kuba wowe mugabo wisanze aharenze hamwe, nawe mugore ushobora gusanga wasanze umugabo wawe ahatari heza bitewe n’ibyasobanuwe. Inkuru nziza ni uko umugabo ashobora gushaka akiri umuhungu mu mutwe, akiri umuhehesi cyangwa binyobere ariko byagera hagati akaba yahinduka akaba umugabo mwiza. Uko umugore nanone amwitwaraho bishobora gutuma areka kuba umugabo mwiza akaba umuhehesi cyangwa binyobere. Mu rukundo ni ugufatanya si uguhimana ariko igihe cyose umugabo adafashe iya mbere mu rukundo akigira ntibindeba, urwo rukundo rurajegajega kuko ntiruba ruri ku musingi wa nyawo.

Turifuriza abagabo bose kuba abagabo beza, babereye ingo zabo, babifashijwemo n’abagore babo.

 

Iyi nkuru yateguwe hifashishijwe ikiganiro cyitwa FOUR TYPES OF MEN cya Derek Hart. Ushobora no kukibona kuri youtube.

Byashyizwe mu Kinyarwanda na Francois BIRAMAHIRE.

 

URUKUNDO NIRWOGERE

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