Inkuru ndende

Birashoboka: Agace ka 5

Jacques: Allo. Umu chr bite se?

Seriveri: Ni sawa chch. Bimeze sawa se

Jacques: Yego ni amahoro rwose. None se wamenye?

Seriveri: Yego nakumenye. Si mwe muvuye hano mu kanya se?

Jacques: Yego ni byo. Ndemeye rwose. Gusa mwana nubwo twihuse numvaga nshaka kukuganiriza buriya

Seriveri: Yoo. None se wagarutse niba utaragera kure? Nta n’abakiriya benshi mfite maze

Jacques: Sha ubu nageze mu buriri maze. Keretse ugashoje ahubwo ukaza tukaganirira mu rugo

Seriveri: Waba wasinziriye kuko dusoza akazi saa saba. Mpita ntaha rero

Jacques: Ndihombeye nyine nta kundi. Ubwo se ejo uzaba uhari nzaze twiganirire. Nakubonye mva mu byanjye

Seriveri: Wikabya nawe. Ni iki se cyatumye uva mu byawe buriya?

Jacques: Imiterere, ibibero bikurura abagabo, uko wakira neza abakiriya, ni byinshi kabisa

Seriveri: Urakoze nubwo ubeshye. Ejo sha sinzakora ndarekipera. Nirirwa ndyamye nduhuka nanjye

Jacques: Nanjye se ejo ko ntazakora wazaje ukaruhukira iwanjye?

Seriveri: Oya sha. Ahubwo uzansure wowe nanjye nzaza ubutaha

Jacques: Ubana na nde se

Seriveri: Mbana n’undi mukobwa ariko we akora ku manywa agataha saa mbiri nijoro ntabwo azaba ahari rero

Jacques: Ahantu uba se nta bantu benshi bahaba?

Seriveri: Barahaba ariko si benshi. Ni igipangu kirimo annexe ebyiri. Tuba muri imwe indi ibamo undi mukobwa. Ba nyiri igipangu nabo ubu iyi minsi ntibahari. Uzaba wisanzuye rero

Jacques: Urakoze cyane nzaza nka saa yine. Uzaba wakangutse se?

Seriveri: Yego nta kibazo. Uzasanga ndi guteka. Ukunda iki se ngo ari cyo nzagutekera?

Jacques: Reka sinzaba nzanywe no kurya wangu. Ahubwo ukunda iki cyo kunywa ngo nzakuzanire

Seriveri: Oya nta birenze uzaba unsuye ni jye nzakwakira. Ngaho reka nakire abakiriya ugire ijoro ryiza

Jacques: bizu cherie. Ni ah’ejo

 

 

Jacques (yivugisha): Icyo nkundira abana basirimutse. Nta birenze nta kwijijisha. Ubu ituru y’ejo irabonetse tu. Uriya mwana ukuntu nabonye ahiye ubanza ari ukunyerera nko mu gihe cy’imvura rwose. Imvura nzayigusha kabisa nta mikungugu. Yewe ga Jacques!!! Ifunguro ry’ejo sindibonye se? Ureke Mugeni uri kwigira igufa. Ubu se ko atigeze ambwira ko yahugutse koko? Gusa ndumva na we ngomba kudacika intege ngomba kumuhingahinga kugeza yemeye icyaha. Ahubwo reka muhamagare numve ko anyitaba

 

Mugeni: Allo Jacques

Jacques: Bite Mugeni. Wiriwe neza se

Mugeni: Yego niriwe neza nubwo niriwe mu kazi kenshi

Jacques: Nategereje ko umbwira ko wahugutse ndaheba.

Mugeni: Yooo. Sha sorry kabisa byandenzeho. Ubundi se buriya kuri terefoni byavamo?

Jacques: Sinzi. Wambwira ikikoroheye ni cyo nakubahiriza

Mugeni: None se wazashatse akanya tugahura tukaganira amaso ku maso? Sinkunda kuvugira kuri terefoni umwanya muremure

Jacques: Sinabyanga rwose ahubwo wowe mbwira igihe ufite akanya n’aho twazahurira hatakugoye

Mugeni: Ihangane ndashaka igihe nzakubwira. Naho phone nyikoresha gacye gashoboka cyane cyane mu minsi y’akazi. Cyakora kuri chat ndagerageza.

Jacques: Noneho ugire ijoro ryiza ubwo see you.

Mugeni: Urakoze nawe urare neza

 

Jacques yararyamye, bucya ari kwitegura kujya kureba seriveri dore ko yari yamuhaye gahunda.

Hagati aho seriveri bucyeye yabanje kuganiriza umukobwa babana

 

Seriveri: Umva chch sha mu kanya hari igisore kiri buze kundeba

Gatesi: Mwamenyanye ryari se

Seriveri: Twamenyanye nijoro. Yaje ku kazi na mugenzi we baranywa atashye arambwira ngo njye kumuraza mubwira ko ibyiza yaza hano

Gatesi: Nizere ko wabonye afite agatubutse. Kuko kuza hano ntasige n’ay’inzu waba uri fake

Seriveri: Umva mwana ahubwo nshaka kumutekera ku buryo ari bwikoremo atazuyaje. Ubundi mbwira. Wowe uzi ibyo guteka mutekere iki

Gatesi: Ubanze umukorere smoothies imutera akanyabugabo ku buryo ari bugukosore ukemera kandi na we akishima

Seriveri: Ngaho se mbwira mwana. Iba ikoze mu ki?

Gatesi: Ufate tangawizi, umwembe, umuneke n’inanasi ubisye muri blender. Ubundi ukamuriremo indimu umaze kubisya. Ube ari byo umwakiriza. Nyuma uze gutegura inshyushyu ishyushye ushyiremo ubuki mubinywe muri kurya cyangwa nyuma yo kurya.

Seriveri: Nta nzoga se ndi bumuhe ubwo?

Gatesi: Oya inzoga si sawa waza kuyimugurira nyuma mwarangije. Naho guteka umutekere agatogo. Jya kugura inyama zo mu nda ubundi uziteke nizishya uteke igitoki uvangemo ukatiremo ibirungo byose unashyiremo agasenda. Natishima ungaye

Seriveri: Waouuu. Urakoze cyane kunkorera umuti. Rata niyo mpamvu iyo chr wawe yagusuye nza ngasanga warembye aba yagukoze bien

Gatesi: Sha nabyigishijwe n’umugore ngo iyo umugabo we adaheruka guhindukira ni byo amutegurira ubundi akiyambika biri sexy. Ngo umugabo ashyukwa amureba rwose.

Seriveri: Noneho nanjye nambare ibiri sexy?

Gatesi: None se niba ubyambara mu kazi ngo bibakurure kuki uwo byakuruye utabimwambarira yagusuye ngo noneho akugumeho. Wambare ka gakanzu urarana konyine ariko nujya kumufata ugende wakenyeyeho agatenge. Kandi ibyo ukeneye byose ube wabyiyegereje ku buryo aza agasanga nturi bujye hanze. Ntugakine ku byakuzanira agafaranga sha. Ubwo natinda gutaha umbwire nanjye mbe nibuzabuza urabizi jyewe uyu munsi ntaha kare ubusanzwe

Seriveri: Urakoze cyane wangu.

 

Yahise atangira gukwakwanya ashaka ibyo kuza kwakiriza umushyitsi ari na ko akora isuku mu nzu hose. Uko amasaha ahita ni ko yarebaga kuri terefoni ko Jacques yamuhamagaye. Jacques na we aho ari umutima ntiwari hamwe yumvaga amasaha atagenda. Saa yine zigeze yahise afata terefoni ahamagara seriveri (kugeza ubu nta rindi zina rye tuzi kuko ntiyigeze arimubaza)

 

Jacques: Umucherie waramutse ute se

Seriveri: Sawa bebe. Na we se ni neza

Jacques: Ni neza cyane. Ngaho se ndangira aho utuye nze ngusure

Seriveri: Nugera ku muhanda umpe umumotari murangire ni byo byoroshye.

Jacques: Niho ndi reka muguhe umubwire

 

Yamuhaye motari baravugana nuko motari amubwira ko ahazi neza. Yuriye moto aragenda. Ahageze yarahamagaye nuko aza kumukingurira

 

Yamuhaye akabizu ku munwa nuko amuha karibu mu nzu. Bageze mu nzu Jacques yasanze ari ghetto nziza, ifitemo ubwiherero imbere, igitanda cya double gishashe neza, akabati gato kariho amashyiga ya gaz, mo imbere kabitsemo ibiribwa. Ku rundi ruhande hari flat screen, water dispenser na blender.

Seriveri yahise yatsa blender akora smoothies uko yabwiwe nuko ahereza umushyitsi we ati ba unywa aka kantu mbe ngutekeye cheri

 

Jacques: Urakoze cyane

Seriveri: Nizere ko ibyo ngutekera utari bubyange ariko

Jacques: Sinabyanga cherie mwiza. Ariko uri mwiza gusa wangu

Seriveri: Si cyane wangu. Kandi wisanzure hano ntugire ikibazo turi twenyine. Ngushyiriremo film cyangwa akaririmbo

Jacques: Shyiramo utuziki nitwo sawa

Seriveri yahise ashyiramo indirimbo nuko akomeza gutekera Jacques. Byose yabikoraga agikenyeye igitenge nuko ageze hagati ati

 

Seriveri: Iki gitenge na cyo kiri gutuma nshyuha reka ngikuremo. Nizere ko bitakubangamira

Yagikuyemo ajya kukimanika anyuze imbere ya Jacques. Yari yambaye agakanzu kagufi cyane ku buryo yunamaga Jacques akabona umuguno w’ikariso. Nuko kwihangana biranga maze Jacques aragenda amusanga aho atekeye amuhobera aturutse inyuma amukora mu mabere undi aramwihorera ahubwo ahita ahindukira aramusoma maze aramubwira:

 

Seriveri: Sheri ihangane mbanze mpishe humura uramfite wese ndi uwawe. Nizere ko utari bumpfushe ubusa

Jacques: Humura ndakora iyo bwabaga

Seriveri: Wagendanye condom se wangu cyangwa ushaka bunyama?

Jacques: Bunyama ni byo sawa niba wiyizeye

Seriveri: Ubwo se unteye inda cheri? Wabigira ute

Jacques: Hari utunini twatugura buriya

Seriveri: Ibaze akanini kagura ibihumbi icumi ariko kandi condom ari igihumbi kimwe? Uyanyihere ayo wari kukigura nubundi ndikeneye cherie.

Jacques: Ntacyo turareba igishoboka humura.

 

Bakomeje kuganira ari na ko atetese akanyuzamo akamwicara ku bibero ku buryo neza neza bagiye kurya Jacques ubona ko yavuye mu bye. Bamaze kurya Seriveri yihinnye mu bwogero asohoka akenyeye essuie-mains maze ahita yurira uburiri

 

Baratangiye barasomana nuko Jacques agiye kwegera ngo agire icyo akora seriveri ati

 

Seriveri: None se cheri ko ntakubajije ubundi urampemba iki kuri serivise ngiye kugukorera?

Jacques: Urifuza ikihe gihembo se

Seriveri: Mbwira wowe icyo wateganyije kuko nkubwiye nakubiramo ubukene bwose mfite

Jacques: Sha sinari nabyiteguye neza numvaga ari ubushuti gusa

Seriveri: Nyine ni ubushuti iyo bitaba ubushuti nari kuba naguciye amafranga tukajya mu biciro. Ariko nanone sinabikora ngo ejo nzabure n’amavuta yo kwisiga. Twazahura ukanyoberwa. Kandi unshimishije nanjye nagushimisha cyane ukabura uko wigira.

Jacques: Uravugisha ukuri se?

Seriveri: Wowe mbwira icyo uri bumpe ndumva ubushyuhe bumereye nabi. Uzi ko kiri guta amazi. Koraho wumve

Jacques yakozeho nuko undi na we aboneraho kumukorakora ari nako amwongorera utugambo two kumuryoshya, nuko Jacques aba akoze mu mufuka amuhereza inoti 6 za 5000 ati ayo niyo nari mfite mu mufuka wikomeza kunyicisha amerwe.

 

Akiyabona yahise yiyambura neza ubundi sinakubwira dore ko bose bari bananyoye inshyushyu igikorwa kirakorwa bariyongeza karahava.

 

Ubwo bugorobye Jacques yarasezeye ngo atahe, undi na we ntiyamugora aramwemerera ariko amusaba kuzagaruka vuba.

 

Nuko ubwo Jacques yasohokaga kwa seriveri, yahise asubira mu nzu yihuse ahita abaza seriveri:

Jacques: Cherie uriya mukobwa aba hano?

 

 

Uwuhe mukobwa se kandi yikanze?

 

Biracyaza…

5 comments

  1. Jacques ndabona ari gukingurira ingwara zitandukanye pe. Agakorera aho k'umuntu bataziranyi kweli?

    Like

  2. Numwe mubakobwa bambariye uwakoze ubukwe harimo namugeni..aho jack yaboneye mugeni bwambere.

    Like

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