Ubuzima

Ishyano: Agace ka 5

Duherukana Yvan yiyamirira ubwo yabonaga Gatesi na Jacky. Yiyamiriye yikoreye amaboko, birimo gutangara no gutungurwa. Yahise abasuhuza atangaye cyane, nuko aricara iruhande rwabo.

 

Yvan: Gatesi, ni wowe cyangwa ni undi ndi kubona? Icyaro uzi ko cyica we! Uri mwiza ni ukuri pee. Noneho uwagusutse we yakuremye. Ahubwo se ubu ntiwakomyeho koko yayandi ni yo wakoresheje gusa?

Gatesi: Yvan nawe. Gusa nongeye kugushimira wakoze kunsirimura. Naho kunsuka ho nanasaguye rwose. Iyo ntasagura simba nabonye uko nkuvugisha

Jacky: Yvan, urakoze kuba udusanganye. Urabizi kaminuza nyimazemo igihe, ibyayo byose ndabizi. Urabe udafite imigambi mibi kuri Gatesi. Byazambabaza kandi nazakurakarira bidasanzwe. Kumubera musaza we ndabishimye, nanjye nemeye kumubera mukuru we. Ariko ibirenze aho uzabyitondere ndakwinginze. Si byo musore warezwe?

Yvan: Jacky urabizi rwose nta ribi ryanjye. Uyu mwana namugiriye impuhwe kuko ari umwana wo ku ivuko nta kindi. Nta kibyihishe inyuma kindi rwose, ni ukumufasha bisanzwe nta kindi. Ahubwo se ko mwicaye mudafata agafanta bite

Gatesi: Ubwo se iyo tugafata ntuze twari kwishyura iki? Widushuka sha! Ariko ubwo uhageze twagafata. Ndi kumva nifitiye n’inyota ibi bisuko biri kunkanyaga

Yvan: Ngaho nimwake icyo kunywa. Ese waguze ya simcard nakubwiye Gate?

Gatesi: Oya sindayigura. Ariko nagendanye indangamuntu reka nze kuyigura.

Yvan: Oya ahubwo wibigira kera ngwino tubanze tuyigure.

Bahise basohoka bajya kugura indi simcard.

Mu kugenda Yvan yagiye atekereza mu mutima:

 

Nta gushidikanya aba ni bo umukire yambwiraga tu. Gusa byo Gatesi ari ku myako. Ariko abakobwa barabeshya wee. Kumbwira ngo nta yindi myenda yambara, naho style yari yazibitse sha. Ubu se umukire arabona koko uyu mutoto namumuha ko na we asetsa? Ku mwana wanjye ndavuna sha. Aha ho sinzi kabisa. Ariko se nanone ko umukire atanga cash zifatika, ubu nzabigira nte? Nako nzi uko nzabigenza. Uyu mwana agiye kuba igishoro tu. Ngomba kumukuraho agafatika rwose ubwo na we yaba umwasama nkunguka agahomba. Ariko ubundi abakobwa bose mpa umukire abakoresha iki? Ibi na byo nkwiye kubimenya kabisa.

 

Yari akiri muri izo ntekerezo, azivanwamo na terefoni ya yasonnye. Yari Thierry umuhamagaye

 

Thierry: Uri he mwana ko ngeze ghetto ngasanga hafunze

Yvan: Ndi hano kuri MTN na gashiki kanjye man. None se watwiyungaho niba ntacyo ugiye gukora?

Thierry: Keretse niba ufitemo rimwe sha. Naho ubundi sinakwiteza

Yvan: Tebuka harimo rimwe n’igice, kandi hari na deal nshaka ko dutangira kwigaho hakiri kare.

Thierry: Sawa reka ncomoke musaza.

 

Baragiye bagura simcard ya Gatesi, nuko barangije bicara hafi aho bagura agafanta baba banywa, ariko Yvan we ntiyayinyoye

 

Yvan: Sha jyewe rwose Fanta iransindisha sinjya nyinywa

Bahise baseka bose nuko bikomereza kunywa agasoda banaganira. Yvan we yari yibereye kuri chat, ubona ko ahuze cyane

 

Hagati aho Uwera yaje guhamagara Gatesi

 

Uwera: Allo. Gatesi we, ko utigeze umvugisha koko kuva twatandukana. Uri akana kabi

Gatesi: Mbabarira sha Uwera we. Nahise njya kwisukisha ubu ni ho ndi kuvayo. Shahu ya pantalo abantu bose bambwiye ko imbereye. Wakoze cyane

 

Yvan ibyo yarabyumvise ahita abaza

 

Yvan: None se watangiye gutira imyenda koko? Abakobwa muransetsa

Gatesi: Oya ni umwana twigana, ni iyo yanyihereye. Yitwa Uwera ni we twavuganaga. Ni umwana mwiza cyane.

Yvan: Uwera? Uzampuze na we disi we

Jacky: Eheee. Ubwo ushaka gushora umubindo sasa!

Yvan: Oya nshaka kuzamushimira kubera ari umwana mwiza. Gusa bitari ibanga Gatesi ipantalo iramubereye pee. Ubutaha nimbona cash nanjye nzakugurira akandi kamwe.

 

Hagati aho Thierry arahagera

 

Thierry: Sha wallah Nyamasheke ni mbari. Urabona ukuntu hari haraveteje uyu mutoto mwa. None ari ku myako pee. Umusore uzamutereta azaba arobye ifi itari urujanga rwose. None se Yvan, ducomoke turisome cyangwa ni bimwe byawe?

Yvan: Oya ugende aba twarangizanyije.

 

Yahise akora mu mufuka ahereza inote ya bibiri Gatesi amubwira ko ari ayo kugura airtime, nuko barigendera we na Thierry bagana mu kabari

 

Akabari banyweragamo bari bazwi dore ko ari ho bakundaga guhurira n’uwo bo bita umukire. Bacyicara bahise babazanira icyo banywa kuko ntibajyaga bahindura. Nuko batangira kuganira

 

Thierry: None se umusa, uriya mutoto ko acyeye utaramwatsa cyane, urabona uzamutunga wenyine koko cyangwa uzaba nduhire abandi

Yvan: Wahora n’iki ko umukire yamubonye akarabya indimi

Thierry: Yamubonye hehe se ko umukire ari Dubai

Yvan: Wapi man yaraje. Kandi twanabonanye akambwira ngo arababonye. Yabanyuzeho ahita ampamagara ampa map yo kuza kubareba anshushanyiriza uko bateye nuko nje mpita mbona ni bo yambwiraga. Yahise ansiga uduhumbi icumi twa moto. Ni two tugiye kunywera

Thierry: Ariko se Yvan, ubundi abakobwa bose twamuhaye, ararongora agahita ashaka undi koko? Na Dubai nta n’umwe bajyanye. Uriya mukire sinzi nyamara ibye

Yvan: Sha nanjye ntangiye kubyibazaho, ariko ndumva dukwiye kubimubazaho kuko hari igihe twabicira inyeri ari urukonda. Ahubwo ndumva twamuvugisha, kandi nshaka no kumukuraho izindi noti

Thierry: Uramukuraho inoti koko nta mwana umuhaye? Na we ubanza ukura ibyinyo burya!!!

Yvan: Hhhh. Nabonye igishoro mwana birahagije. Ahubwo reka muhamagare

 

Yahise ahamagara uwo yise umukire, amubwira ko bari hahandi bajya bahurira.

Mu minota micye yahise ahagera bahana big up nk’ibisanzwe aricara na we baramwakira nuko ahita abaza

 

Umukire: None se wababonye sha kado?

Yvan: Nababonye boss. Urabizi ntiwantuma ngo mbure gutumika. Neza neza aho wambwiye ni ho nabasanze

Umukire: Ubwo rero nizere ko vuba cyane nzabona umwe muri bo umungejejeho. Ariko cyane cyane uwari yambaye agapira ka roza

Thierry: Ariko papa, hari akantu ntarasobanukirwa. Umutoto umufata rimwe ugahita ujugunya ugafata undi?

Umukire: Hhhhh. Sha ntabwo muramenya ubwenge nababonye. Ubwo murumva rero abakobwa bose mumpa mbarongora sha? Reka reka ni business mwa bana mwe

Yvan: Urabe udacuruza abantu boss. Aho ho nazagufungisha nanjye

Umukire: Oya sha kado. None se abo mumpa ko biga hano hari uwo mwumvise waburiwe irengero byibuze? Dore uko agakino gateye. Buriya hejuru y’inkoko haba hari dindon. Nanjye mfite abandi bakire bakomeye baba badashaka kwigaragaza mu bantu. Bamwe ni abayobozi bakomeye, abandi ni abanyamadini bubashywe. Bo rero icyo bakora bampa gahunda yo kubashakira abakobwa bakeye bazajya babamara ipfa. Ubwo nanjye nkaza nkabaha iyo mission, mukabashaka. Buriya mwe nta nubwo muvunika cyane nka njye. Umukobwa iyo abemereye kumpuza na we aba azi ko aje kureba sugar daddy. Iyo rero mubwiye ko ari undi umushaka, bamwe barabyanga abandi bakemera. Gusa ubu twahinduye umuvuno. Ubu abayobozi b’ibigo bikomeye, we ambwira kumushakira uwo azagira secretaire cyangwa agakora kuri reception. Noneho kuko ari jye mba namuzanye, urumva abagore babo nta kibazo babigiraho ngo babe banacyeka ko ari ibiro bya kabiri. Ubwo umwana yagera mu kazi, boss akajya amwisazuraho mu ibanga rikomeye. Ngahembwa na we agahembwa. Abandi bahita babakodeshereza aho kuba, akajya ahamusanga haba ku manywa cyangwa nijoro, igihe cyose bishoboka. Ibyo bibarinda gusenya ingo zabo kandi bakanisazura. Gusa kariya kana ko ni jye ngashaka rwose nta we nzagaha. Nshaka gufungura quincaillerie hano nzahita nkagira manager waho, igihe katari kwiga kajye kaza kubigenzura. Urumva nzaba nkiyegereje, kuzagafatisha ntibizangora. Ahubwo ko utampa nimero bite

Yvan: Boss nimero yako se ugirango hari terefoni gafite? Wapi rwose yifitiye simcard. Ubwo sinzi uko uzamufatisha rwose

Umukire: Ibyo biroroshye bindekere. Ndagutuma uzamugurire terefoni. Ahubwo se buriya namugurira iy’angahe ngo mbe mwishe mu mutwe

Yvan: Reka ntumugurire ihenze cyane. Umuguriye iy’ibihumbi 200 izaba ihagije. Umuntu se utagira terefoni urumva uhise umuha ihenze atahita akuvumbura?

Umukire: Ni byo koko. Nitujya gutaha unyibutse nguhe sheki ejo uzarare uyimuguriye. Ariko muzajyane we yihitiremo iyo ashaka.

Thierry: Boss uwo mwana ubanza wamwemeye cyane

Umukire: Nabaye nkimubona numva sinzi uko mbaye. Noneho rero ukuntu yanze lift nahise mbona ko rwose agifite umuco rwose. Ese sha muranywa mutarya? Mushyirisheho agakoko mube murya jyewe ngiye kujya guhura n’abandi bakire hariya kuri hotel. Ahubwo reka mbahe ya sheki ubundi ngende

 

Amaze kugenda

 

 

Thierry: Yaayayaa. Burya ni ukubona abakire bagenda naho ni bo batumazeho abatoto. Niko se Yvan urabigenza ute?

Yvan: Sindi umwana sha nanjye. Ubu se sindi mu nyungu. Nzamugurira terefoni ya 50000 asigaye nzayabika. Ubundi sinzabahuza ntaramukuraho agaturu wenda kamwe, ubundi umukire azirwarize. Ese bite bya Jolie mwana? Nta plot ya weekend se

Thierry: Iyi weekend ni ukuzunguza umubiri kakahava. Ntuzabure ubwenge ahubwo.

 

Tugaruke kuri Gatesi

 

Baragiye ahura na Uwera, na we abona ko acyeye nuko baganiraho.

Uwera: Ese Gate, ko wambwiye ngo ibyawe ni inkuru ndende, wambwiye ho ko numva amatsiko

Gatesi: Urabona, narezwe na mama gusa jyewe sinzi papa

Uwera: Yarapfuye se

Gatesi: Oya ntiyapfuye ahubwo yateye inda mama arayihakana, ahita abura nubu sindamubona sinamuzi.

Uwera: Ngo iki? Ko numva twenda guhuza amateka!!!!!!!!

Aya mateka se bahuje yo ni ayahe?

Biracyaza…

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